never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
