your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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