Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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