Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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