Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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