we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
