sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
