my soul wont recognize me after tonight
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
