roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
