Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
