roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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