I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
