On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
