Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
