Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize
