And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
