just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
