I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
