Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Randomize
