I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
