I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
