So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
