I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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