Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
