Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
