pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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