people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I deserve this hangover.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
