Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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