Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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