i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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