It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Randomize
