Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
