How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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