'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
