hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
