I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
