***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
