I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
