take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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