I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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