I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
