I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
