That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
