I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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