so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
pray to the hookup gods
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
