i don't like sucking hair
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
