Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
