Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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