porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
