I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
