At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
