He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
